Shit my mum says...

she has nothing to explain...to anyone.

We all love our mommies, right?
RIGHT!
They can piss the living shit out of you. But seriously, isn't that what tough love is??? No? Then my mom has been doing it wrong!
Anyway, the whole, shit my mom says was suggested by   Flowkadenge . He thinks my mom is funny..ok, I think my mom is funny so I made him think she was.. She has this habit of making fun of people in a funny way, you end up crying when laughing...or vice versa. She does it in Kamba! I'll be posting whenever

Anyways..

Mom: Jesus! Don't you ever add any weight?
Me: mom, we are not having this conversation....again.
Mom: (to anyone standing/seated nearby) Does she even look like my daughter?? Look at me..and look at her. huyu hakulangi! Yuko na kilo 40 kama kuku
Me: Mooom! seriously.
Mom: look at her younger sister... only 17 years old. She looks 'bigger' than her..not forgetting the height. Wanza (me)  alikula manylon akiwa mdogo haki
17 y o Sis: I'm not that fat????!
Mom: you're not?? Look at you! Kitimba kyaku kina kyuu (your butt has a shadow!)
Sis: Ngai mom :(
Mom: Ngiti syi kwatiia syeetelee kivaluke (dogs follow you expecting the butt to fall off!)

We burst out laughing.

Sis gives her the -if-you-weren't-my-mom-i'd-kill-you-right-now look

but hey!

women!

Ladies, the next time a guy has the courage to talk to you, remember he's not wearing makeup. Also, remember what you look like without it.
Look down at yourself, are you wearing a push-up bra?
Is your hair 'relaxed'? or 'weaved??' yes???
You are 30% fake.
You don't term one a pierce of shit, whilst you are a shit-stain.

"I want a guy who treats me right, listens to me and makes me feel good. But until then, I'll keep dating assholes and complaining." - all Women

Not everyone is Trey Songz, or Neyo...those too have flaws you know
We are lucky we are not all indians or conservative Maasais who get to have arranged marriages
We were given this one opportunity to chose our partners, but we seem to have blown it.

Most men born in the 1800's would roll over in their grave if they saw how much we, women are allowed to talk nowadays.

Until women stop being shallow minded, then we'll have to live with shallow minded men too.

I really hope women who get dumbed in public realize they're making it super awkward for the rest of us.

If you made him think you're after him for whatever reasons, then he'll dumb you when he's done with you for whatever reasons

Just saying