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| and no, this is not really how it happened |
This girl, let's call her Jen. ok, that's her real name...chances are, she'll never read this. We used to be close, really close. we did sleep overs, I always told her she was beautiful and a million times i'd told her i'd do her, if I was drunk enough and she'd jokingly ask me out and ask after a few drinks if i was drunk enough for me to take her to bed. All that time, i thought we were joking, little did i know..
This one time, we went out, her, the boys (Alex, Mash and Mark) and I. It was a drinking spree..one of those, i broke up with my boyfriend, lets go hunt! kinda night. Alex always told me he never trusted our girlie friendship, so later that night, he dared us to kiss...like kiss kiss.
Me: psssht! what, i kiss my nephew, i kiss our kittens...it's nothing. i'd kiss her if i wanted to.
Alex: hah! for a G..i dare you to kiss Jen.
Me: on the lips?
Alex: Yes, on the lips.
Me: make that 2Gs
Alex: make that 5 secs..the kiss, 5 secs long
Me: you'd need to chuck 3Gs for that.
Alex: 3Gs, 10 secs.
Me: *grabbed the 3Gs, put in my handbag* Jen, will you mind kissing me.
Jen: not really, do you?
Me: for 3Gs, i'd kiss the bar tender.
Then we kissed. IT felt like eternity, especially after Jenny decided to go all french on me.. i couldn't loose the 3Gs already, no. i held on..literally. and she held on..literally. 15secs later i had to push her away........
Alex: it only took 3Gs for you two to cross the line. hah! now go get a room!
The night ended awkwardly. i didn't know what to think..and the fact that i giggled after the kiss and winked at her didn't help. i'll tell you why..
That night, coincidentally Aleki was our ride, and er...he dropped me off at Jen's place. yeah. I didn't want to show them the kiss was 'something'..and er...the sleepover was a bit awkward, we usually hugged up but this time i realy opted not to. but i did'nt tell her.
next morning...................
Me: OMG! what are you doing on top of me!
Jen: that's how i usually wake you up! :) remember...
Me: God no, just get off of me.
Jen: shhhhh! You just broke up with Donald, he was a jerk. and you deserved better.
Me: can we talk while sitted....and how is this (you on top of me) going to help with my break up????
Jen: ..what we did jana is something i've always wanted to do.
Me: yeah, i remember the tongue
Jen: Emy, even our friends see what we have is somehing else, something more, i've been hurt a lot, and i swore to never hurt anyone plus we are friends. it will be super. trust me.
Me: Are you hitting on me??? and why can't you get off of me, are you going to rape me. *why i asked that, i don't know*
Jen: no, i don't do that.and yes, i think this is the right time to tell you how i feel.......
Me: i love you, as a friend, you are my friend, i never knew i was leading you on the whole time i talked about your beauty and how i'd do you...it was nothing sexual-ish.... i'm sorry.
Jen: Emy, you just don't say things, you think them, then say them..you are in denial..don't tell me when you said you'd do me you never really tought about it ....................*awkward silence* .......................and when you tell me i'm beautiful you don't really mean it ...........................*awkward silence* ............................................and that kiss last night, it was real, you should have withdrawn after the 10secs, but you didn't...........*awkward silence*
Me: i was drunk *voice a bit lower this time*
Jen: no you were'n't
Me: we were having fun...that was fun..nothing more. can we just forget it happened?!
Jen: no, i can't
then she leaned over to kiss me..erm, i didn't really kiss back???? i didn't move.....until she lifted the t-shirt i was wearing. I knew i had to stop her..i knew i had to stop myself...i pushed???? and she let go. i had to get out of there...and fast!
